I spit in the face of danger!

Big tornado warnings here in Georgia this evening. I know I'm asking for a big karmic ass-kicking, but I never think that I'll be the one affected by the tornado, or hail, or frost, or whatever. So since Michael is out tonight for some big work dinner, me and the kids went out after dinner (and I confess, one vodka and soda) to play in the rain.

Personally, I think it sucked.

But OHMIGOSH did the kids LOVE playing in the rain. "Look, mommy, my booty is soaking wet." "Look, mommy, my shoes are wetter than the puddle!"

So, since we didn't die in a tornado, and the kids weren't watching tv, I count it a successful evening of child-rearing.

Stryper lyrics for Shari. Just trying to remind her that she's JEWISH.

More Than A Man
Long ago, there was a man who came / Came and died for you / You, you say you don't want to know / But I've got to tell you the truth / (chorus) / God, I will follow you because you died for me / Gave to me your life to set me free / Anyone who asks shall receive / Jesus in your heart / It's time for you to start / Giving God all the glory / More than a man, God almighty / He created you / He's the One, the One who rules the land / He is the One I choose / (chorus) / (bridge) / All of the glory today / No matter what some people say / All of your faith / And your life will start to change / (chorus x2)

I'm rubber; you're glue.

Today my sister called my blog stupid. So in retaliation, I offer the following little known facts about her.

• She listened to Stryper in high school.
• She can't pull off the rattail haircut, although god knows she tried for at least three years.
• She's a virgin. Okay, probably not true. But she refuses to talk to me when I say words like vibrator, discharge, or vagina so if she IS having sex, I can't imagine anyone is enjoying it.
  

My sister sent me and our parents an email today asking for our medical history. I figured my parents would give incomplete information, so I decided to help fill in some gaps.

Dad: suffers from severe mental illness. Symptoms: he thinks he's funny, must always tell the same story at least three times, and revises family history as he sees fit. He also has a severe hearing loss which prevents him from hearing you when you tell him to stop talking.

Mom: suffers from severe mental illness. Symptoms: she thinks she's always right, forgets everything ever told to her, and only thinks something has value if it costs under 10 dollars or over 1,000. She also has a severe hearing loss which prevents her from hearing anything she disagrees with and causes all mood stabilizers she takes to stop working.

If only Michael would ask for my help filling in the gaps for HIS family's medical history.

My daughter the rock star. Scary, right?

(for those who don't know: she's on the left)