How all my conversations with Keith go.

me: i need you
verdantmug: Please leave a message at the beep. BEEP.
me: yo i have to create a lag b'omer tshirt and i had wanted a funny little phrase
but you know, it's effing lag bomer
verdantmug: i love me some lag b'omer
verdantmug: what's the sentiment you wanna get across?
me: i was at the lag b'omer picnic with all the other cool people
verdantmug: what do people do on lag b'omer? besides count down to shavuout
How about: Lag Ba'Omer? More like Lag Ba'Awesome!
verdantmug: this is a tough one. it's a holiday about counting. How about: Count me in for Lag Ba'Omer Or you could steal a line from that movie American Dreamz: You've been Omer-ized!
me: that was seriously the worst movie ever
verdantmug: it had its moments
me: uuch
verdantmug: quaid was funny
me: the movie sucked. sucked. sucked.
verdantmug: okay okay okay
me: but guess what new show i love?
verdantmug: gossip girl?
me: old news
verdantmug: no idea
me: celebra-cadabra
verdantmug: what the hell is that?
me: celebrities trying to be magicians !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
verdantmug: no WAY
me: vh1, baby
verdantmug: awesomely stupid
me: c. thomas howell carnie wilson
verdantmug: I'm about to Gag Ba'Omer
me: better than rock of love 2
verdantmug: eesh american idol is the only reality tv i watch
me: i hate that show. even with bad tv we don't agree!
verdantmug: how about: I'm Lag Ba'Over it
me: yeh, great. how bout give me something i can use already?
me: just call me a nag b'omer
verdantmug: if it was online, it'd be blog ba'omer
me: and if it was homer simpson it would say lag D'ohmer
verdantmug: lag ba'homer
if it was kermit, it'd be frog ba'omer
you can come to a picnic and be a hog ba'omer
me: and if there were races it would be Jog b'omer*
verdantmug: in the park, you can walk your dog ba'omer
me: ok. no more. you win
verdantmug: if you were doing someone in england, it'd be called a snog ba'omer
verdantmug: come to the park and pack a bag ba'omer
me: constipated? drop a log b'omer

*I know, I know. This one is barely funny. Sorry. Keith is hard to keep up with...I try too hard to impress him with how funny I am..

The funniest thing I read on the internet today:

Golems also need to rest on the Sabbath lest they go berserk.

This morning's email from Michael

R,

Guess what?........

Matthew prepared and ate his own breakfast. I discovered this as I entered the kitchen -- refrigerator door open, splashes of milk across the floor with a Cookie Crisp cereal trail to the kids TV room, where Matthew was munching away at his breakfast.

XOXO


This so sums up life in the McCullough household:

• We have no idea where the kids are in our own house.
• If the kids wait for me or Michael to feed them, they'll go hungry.
• We buy crap food.
• There are entire rooms in our house devoted to television, and the kids have their own.

The six word meme

(I lifted the explanation below from Bonnie, who tagged me to do this, so I feel justified in stealing from her.)

The Six-Words Meme was originally started by Smith Magazine. There is now a book. The history is thus:

Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet ("Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends") and poignant ("I still make coffee for two") to the inspirational ("Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah") and hilarious ("I like big butts, can't lie").

So, here's mine (with visual illustration):

Always trying to get a laugh.

The rules...
1) Write your own six-word memoir.
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you'd like.
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4) Tag six more blogs with links.
5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.
6) Have fun.

The person who tagged me is Bonnie. The person who tagged her is Beth.

I tag the following people:

Verdant Mug
The White Whale
Crazy Running Peter
LabMonkey

I don't have a sixth blogging friend. Unless you count my best friend Perez.

I have no idea if I'll actually go to their comments and tell them I tagged them. I'm not much of a commenter.

For Peter

Was at a conference in Boston

Notes from the trip:

People returning from Caribbean vacations should cut those stupid, plastic, I was in an all inclusive resort wristbands off their wrist the minute they arrive at the airport for their return flight. Everyone in the airport can tell you were on vacation because, A, you're unnaturally tan, and B, you're still drunk.

Michael only knows how to buy five items from the grocery store: milk, french bread, manchego cheese, steak and beer.