Was at a conference in Boston

Notes from the trip:

People returning from Caribbean vacations should cut those stupid, plastic, I was in an all inclusive resort wristbands off their wrist the minute they arrive at the airport for their return flight. Everyone in the airport can tell you were on vacation because, A, you're unnaturally tan, and B, you're still drunk.

Michael only knows how to buy five items from the grocery store: milk, french bread, manchego cheese, steak and beer.